I have demons in me.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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