Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
