Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
porn star boner night. come get it.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
