i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
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