Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
