So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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