Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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