I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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