is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Green mimosas i think yes
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
