So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize