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So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
