And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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