it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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