We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
