I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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