If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize