You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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