Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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