we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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