i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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