Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
