You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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