How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
