what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
