why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize