When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
