omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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