is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
