I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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