I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
