so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
