I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
