Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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