what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
