scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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