and she was petting her beer can
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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