who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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