i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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