Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize