As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
