I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize