Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The air was thick with penises
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
