are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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