Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
