i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
