I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
