Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
