i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
