What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Randomize
