I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
