end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
