Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
