next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize