these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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