Please, let me fuck your mom
where am i from again
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
