i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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