I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize