listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
