i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
