how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
