Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
