But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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